Remember when you wished for everything you have now?

And… how this relates to your 'moat.'

This week I've been reading Good Money Revolution; How to make more money to do more good, by Derrik Kinney. The book is mostly about giving and generosity, though he also talks about a concept I love, and one that I wrote about last month -- how having savings gives you more agency in your own life.

However, Derrik uses the metaphor of building a moat around your home to keep you and your family safe from unwanted intruders. Financially speaking, this could be protecting yourself from the costs associated with illness, job loss, house repair, tree removal, you name it. The point is that when you have a big moat, these incidents, (which are stressful enough are their own), are a little less stressful because the costs aren't the number one thing you're concerned about.

You may be wondering, do I really need a moat?

The short answer is, inevitably, yes:) Two people in my life who are under 40 were diagnosed with cancer this month. Though I have faith they will treat it and recover, it's always humbling to be reminded of our own fragility. As many of you know, I really got into this work after my dad suddenly passed and I went through a crash course in estate planning, or what happens when there hasn't been any. My savings or 'emergency fund' at the time served as an extremely useful buffer in what was otherwise a very stressful time of grief for my family. It taught me the power of having a moat, as life can be hard enough at times without having to worry about money. At that age I hadn't yet internalized why savings could be so helpful or important- I just knew I wanted the peace of mind.

I started eagerly learning about this thing called money when I was in my early twenties. I took a financial literacy class once at a non-profit where we did a very enlightening exercise for me at the time, though I'm sure it wasn't as mind-blowing for the people in the room with more life experience than me.

We all listed life events that cost money on sticky notes- college, weddings, home repairs, retiring, etc. Next, we all had to bring our sticky notes up to the wall and arrange them in somewhat of an order of when they might happen in your life. We were asked to assign potential dollar values to each event.

Then I panicked. At that time in my life, if I had even $2000 in the bank I felt financially safe, though now I was suddenly shown how expensive life could get. Based on my paltry earnings at the time, I felt a crushing pressure and belief that I would never be able to afford the responsibilities of 'adult life.' I went home to my awesome coop-housing at the time, where I had an Artists Way book club meeting that night. My older (and wiser) landlord and neighbor was in the book club with us, and I shared with her how freaked out I was.

Luckily Diane was a voice of reason. Yes, she said, weddings can cost money -- but you can choose if it is a potluck or a super fancy event. She pointed out that though we do all have to think about the future financially, having a strong community is also very valuable. It can affect how much we pay for childcare or elderly care, for example.

It's never about extremes, it's just about living within your means

My intention in bringing up sudden illness earlier was not to freak you out like I had been. What I appreciated about talking to Diane that evening was her level-headedness.

As long as we are always saving, and not spending more than we earn, we can make choices in our lives that protect us from stress and debt. We can safeguard our older selves. We can anticipate our future needs. All we need to do is ensure that our lifestyles don't creep to the point where we aren't contributing to our 'moat.'

Remember when you wished for everything you had now?

This quote was also in Derrik Kinney's book, and I would love to be reminded of this daily, as I know how important gratitude is to our happiness and fulfillment.

This summer a builder who was consulting with me about a project thought my partner and I should build our 'dream house' in our yard. Yes, our home is small, by America's standards. Yes, we may need another bedroom in the future. However, we also really love our yard and view our outdoor space as much a part of our 'home' as the interior. Having a larger home would provide the value of a better gathering space for friends, and we got all excited about the possibility -- because we technically could borrow that money, rent out our current house, etc.

We had to ask ourselves, is the benefit really worth the huge cost of building a house right now? The months of design time, the stress of construction noise, all the teeny tiny annoying decisions, the toll on my family? Sharing our yard? With interest rates nearing 6% on loans? When we realized that right now all we want is some peaceful years in our yard and gardens with our daughters, we were relieved. Maybe in 6-10 years we will make some changes, but for the time being we have what we had always wished for.

It's so easy to get caught up in decisions to do the 'next big thing.' I know personally my auto-pilot is set for me to constantly be learning and diving into new projects, and I often need to slow myself down and pause, and just enjoy what I have.

The cost of upgrades

Sometimes we can totally afford the costs associated with improving our home, or buying one, or trading in for a better car. However, we all need to pause and consider the impact these decisions have on our ability to fill our 'moat.' Will a new car payment drastically cut down on your savings? Would increased rent from a new apartment, or new home, take all the wiggle room out of your budget? Would it affect your financial peace of mind?

What if what you had now was enough? What if it allowed you to have more freedom, more time off, more choice, more of a safety net for the next curveball life will throw?

I am in no way saying this is an 'either-or,' just that happiness does not always come from an upgrade. Sometimes it comes more from gratitude and intentionality. And there are probably times when you can do both.

Your moat can be for fun stuff too!

Life, and our priorities, are always changing. Let's say you've been saving for a down payment on a house, and realize one day that home ownership really isn't for you. However, your friends got a permit for a month-long trip on the grand canyon, and you have an option to take unpaid-time-off at your job. You crunch the numbers and realize you could take the once-in-a-lifetime trip and still have enough savings when you returned to feel safe!

Or, perhaps you've been wanting to pick up a new hobby- mountain biking or paddle boarding or sewing, but these hobbies have 'start up costs.' Many clients who don't allow themselves a ton of spending money each month have plenty of savings in the bank. Maybe it's time to give themselves permission to take money out of savings and start enjoying their new passion.

As always, I hope this was helpful, and I love hearing your feedback about what these little snippets bring up for you. Thanks for reading:)