An Exercise on Spending and Fulfillment
I struggled to write a succinct post/newsletter because I skipped the month of December, and am re-reading my favorite book about money (Your Money or Your Life), and it's bringing up so much that I want to share with you. For now I'll break it into a few sections:
A fun exercise for you on spending & fulfillment
Recognizing your 'enough' in the Fulfillment Curve
Clearing out the clutter to leave space for what matters most
I recommend you either buckle up now if you have the time, 'star' this email for later, or just go online and order the book as I can promise it will benefit you for the rest of your life.
Your Money or Your Life is one of the original books about Financial Freedom written in the 70's.
I hadn't fully read it and actually done the exercises for twelve years, which is obvious from my scribbles in the book. At that time, I had a negative net worth (more debts than cash), had never earned more than $18,000 in a year (thanks to two years of Americorps post-college), had never owned a car, and had no assets beyond the furniture in my room and a bicycle. However, I was determined. I wanted to build a more financially fulfilling and stable life, and, didn't want to sacrifice all of my time or live in a permanently stressed-out state to do it. I am beyond grateful for how much has changed for me during that time, for how secure I feel, and for what has been possible in my life since I started the journey of being intentional with my money.
I was hooked right away on the message of the book- The first chapter talks about how so many of us are 'making a dying' instead of 'making a living,' because we can depend so much on our jobs that drain us and don't leave us feeling more alive/inspired/fulfilled.
Do we come home from our ‘making a living’ activity with more life? Do we bound through the door, refreshed and energized and ready for a great evening with the family?” (Page 4)
Some of us are lucky enough to, or have been intentional enough to have crafted work that excites us and feels fulfilling at the end of the day. If someone isn't there yet, any work that they put into their relationship with money will ultimately lead to less dependency on that draining job or work. Time off to change paths. Time off to think/breathe/reset. Choice. How we spend our money relates directly to that dependency.
And now, for your exercise:
This essentially boils down to, 'how many hours of your life did it take for you to afford that dinner out/mortage or rent payment/blender/etc? And how does that feel to you?'
STEP ONE: Fill out the Life Energy Calculator to calculate your TRUE hourly wage at your job/work (even if self-employed) --How much you really make per hour when you factor in getting ready, commuting, keeping up your professional wardrobe, lunches out with colleagues, etc.
STEP TWO: Go over everything you spent in the last month- every single purchase- and next to it, write down how much time/Life Energy you spent (from step one) in order to afford that thing/service.
If you're a current client, this will be pretty easy as you're already tracking your spending. You could simply click 'All Accounts' and print all transactions from last month.
If you don't currently track your spending, you may need to print out your bank statements, credit card statements, venmo/paypal/cash app histories from the last month, and try to remember any cash purchases you made, as well.
STEP THREE: Rate how FULFILLED you were from each of those purchases, after seeing how many hours of life energy it took to 'afford' them.
You can do this in two ways. In the book they recommend simply a '-' sign if you want to spend less on this kind of thing, a '0' if you're happy with the amount of $ or Life Energy that went into it, or a '+' if you actually got a lot of fulfilment from that, and would like to allocate more toward that kind of thing in the future.
OR, you could use a scale of 1-10 for fulfillment if that resonates with you more.
LAST STEP: Reflect.
What stands out to you? What patterns do you see?
What spending got a '-' symbol, and how could you regularly spend less on these things that don't bring you as much fulfillment?
What got a '+' and how could you intentionally allocate more money toward what truly adds value and satisfaction to your life?
When does your Fulfillment Curve peak? What is your 'enough?'
"The fulfillment curve shows the relationship between the experience of fulfillment and the amount of money we spend (usually to aquire more posessions). In the beginning of our lives, more possessions did indeed mean more fulfillment. Basic needs were met. We were fed. We were warm. We were sheltered... When we went from bare necessities to some amenities (toys, a wardrobe, a bicycle), the positive relationship between money and fulfillment became even more embedded."
"Eventually we slipped beyond amenities to outright luxuries-and hardly registered the change."
So much of the work of Financial Integrity is owning where we are choosing to use our money, and making sure we aren't simply wasting it on things that don't fulfill us. It's not about being crazy frugal or depriving ourselves. It's just about being mindful, so we can notice and have gratitude for when we have 'enough.'
Enough is a "a place of alertness, creativity, and freedom," when you are no longer worrying about meeting your basic needs or wants, and can therefore relax and be more intentional.
This is a weird place to be if you've ever struggled financially- When you know that no new clothes, new gadgets, or fancy dinner out would effect your happiness level. It's freeing, and gives you an opportunity to examine what's most important to you that you'd like to be using your money, and therefore Life Energy, for. It can just be hard to notice when we've actually arrived at this place.
Clearing out the clutter to leave space for what matters most
It takes time and energy to manage all of our possessions. 'You can never get enough of what you don't really want' is one of my favorite quotes from the book. How many times have you bought clothing that wasn't quite right, but was 'on sale,' or furniture that was a quick fix, or a cheap whatsamabob that you knew wouldn't last? Or... spent out of boredom, anxiety, or dissatisfaction, on something that was not going to solve the root cause of that feeling?
One exercise in the book is to literally list everything you own. It's like Marie Kondo on steroids. I'm not asking you to do this, though I do think that regularly purging or letting go of whatever clogs up your life and doesn't bring you joy is an integral part of Financial Integrity. It allows more space for gratitude and good stewardship of what we do have. It makes it more clear when we would truly benefit from a new thing, when we can actually see and find all that we do own.
Wasting less money means wasting less of our lives. Which means more time for what we enjoy and love. Because it's not about the money:)
Thanks for reading, as always. -Emily